美国最佳毕业典礼讲话稿
thankyou, president cowan, mrs. president cowen; distinguished guests,undistinguished guests - you know who you are, honored faculty and creepyspanish teacher. and thank you to all the graduating class of XX, i realizemost of you are hungover and have splitting headaches and haven't slept sincefat tuesday, but you can't graduate 'til i finish, so listen up. when i wasasked to make the commencement speech, i immediately said yes. then i went tolook up what commencement meant. which would have been easy if i had adictionary, but most of the books in our house are portia's, and they're allwritten in australian. so i had to break the word down myself, to find out themeaning. commencement: common, and cement. common cement. you commonly seecement on sidewalks. sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, youbreak your mother's back. so there's that. but i'm honored that you've asked mehere to speak at your common cement. i thought that you had to be a famousalumnus - alumini - aluminum - alumis - you had to graduate from this i didn't go to college here, and i don't know if president cowan knows, ididn't go to any college at all. any college. and i'm not saying you wastedyour time, or money, but look at me, i"m a huge celebrity. although i didgraduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers. i spent alot of time here growing up. my mom worked at and i would go there everytime i needed to steal something out of her purse. but why am i here today?clearly not to steal, you're too far away and i'd never get away with it. i'mhere because of you. because i can't think of a more tenacious, more courageousgraduating class. i mean, look at you all, wearing your robes. usually whenyou're wearing a robe at 10 in the morning, it means you've given up. i'm herebecause i love new orleans. i was born and raised here, i spent my formativeyears here, and like you, while i was living here i only did laundry six i finished school, i was completely lost. and by school, i mean middleschool, but i went ahead and finished high school anyway. and i - i really, ihad no ambition, i didn't know what i wanted to do. i did everything from - ishucked oysters, i was a hostess, i was a bartender, i was a waitress, ipainted houses, i sold vaccuum cleaners, i had no idea. and i thought i'd justfinally settle in some job, and i would make enough money to pay my rent, maybehave basic cable, maybe not, i didn't really have a plan, my point is that, bythe time i was your age, i really thought i knew who i was, but i had no for example, when i was your age, i was dating men. so what i'm saying is,when you're older, most of you will be gay. anyone writing this stuff down?parents? anyway, i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life, and the way iended up on this path was from a very tragic event. i was maybe 19, and mygirlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident. and i passed the accident,and i didn't know it was her and i kept going, and i found out shortly afterthat, it was her. and i was living in a basement apartment, i had no money, ihad no heat, no air, i had a mattress on the floor and the apartment wasinfested with fleas. and i was soul-searching, i was like, why is she suddenlygone, and there are fleas here? i don't understand, there must be a purpose,and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call god,and ask these questions. and i started writing and what poured out of me was animaginary conversation with god, which was one-sided, and i finished writing itand i looked at it and i said to myself, and i hadn't even been doing stand-up,ever, there was no club in town. i said, "i'm gonna do this on the tonightshow with johnny carson"- at the time he was the king - "and i'mgonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sitdown." and several years later, i was the first woman in the history ofthe show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because ofthat phone conversation with god that i wrote. and i started this path ofstand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because i wastrying to please everybody and i had this secret that i was keeping, that i wasgay. and i thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn'tlaugh at me. then my career turned into - i got my own sitcom, and that wasvery successful, another level of success. and i thought, what if they find outi'm gay, then they'll never watch, and this was a long time ago, this was whenwe just had white presidents - this was back, many years ago - and i finallydecided that i was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that i justcouldn't live that way anymore, and i decided to come out and make it my character would come out at the same time, and it wasn't to make apolitical statement, it wasn't to do anything other than to free….
-
小学生三分钟演讲稿(精选23篇)
演讲稿具有观点鲜明,内容具有鼓动性的特点。在现在的社会生活中,演讲稿使用的情况越来越多,相信写演讲稿是一个让许多人都头痛的问题,以下是小编帮大家整理的小学生三分钟演讲稿,欢迎阅读与收藏。小学生三分钟演讲稿篇1亲爱的老师、同学们:大家好!一个年轻人正值人生...
-
【精】年会董事长致辞
在日常学习、工作抑或是生活中,大家对致辞都再熟悉不过了吧,致辞是指在仪式上表示勉励、感谢、祝贺、哀悼等的话,向他人表达思想感情的文字或语言。致辞的类型有很多,你都知道吗?下面是小编收集整理的年会董事长致辞,欢迎大家分享。年会董事长致辞1尊敬的秦主任,尊敬...
-
大学生座谈会个人发言稿(精选17篇)
在当下社会,需要使用发言稿的事情愈发增多,发言稿可以起到整理演讲者的思路、提示演讲的内容、限定演讲的速度的作用。那要怎么写好发言稿呢?下面是小编帮大家整理的大学生座谈会个人发言稿,仅供参考,希望能够帮助到大家。大学生座谈会个人发言稿篇1尊敬的省局领导...
-
防溺水安全教育学生演讲稿(10篇)
演讲稿在写作上具有一定的格式要求。在现在社会,我们都可能会用到演讲稿,为了让您在写演讲稿时更加简单方便,以下是小编整理的防溺水安全教育学生演讲稿,欢迎大家分享。防溺水安全教育学生演讲稿1同学们、同学们:大家上午好!炎热的夏季快到了,许多人喜欢游泳,江河、游...