优秀英语阅读:糟糕的朋友会露出的3种信号
Once you hit 20-something and over, you reach a point where your time becomes your most precious asset. A bad friendship can drain our energy, so we seek to avoid them as much as possible. This manner of prioritization tends to put our relationships into prospective, by subconsciously implementing The Two Laws of Adult Friendship.
1. I will only spend time on/with subjects of obsession – Just like your obsession with running, painting, or growing your own tomatoes, most of us will only initiate friendships with those who make the most of our time.
2. I must recognize realistic variables – Yes, adult friendship is like a real life math problem—helping us set realistic expectations. Sometimes we want to be closer with others, but we foresee responsibilities that can get understandably in the way.
What is the probability of Person X + (1 Husband + 2 Kids + 1 Kitten) /Full Time Job have of going out dancing with Person Y Friday night?
Somehow, you might find those few friends who get past this litmus test, but really aren’t worth the energy you are wasting on them. You might feel like a bad person when these types of thoughts start popping in your head. If this is a constant concern in the friendship, rest assured that it’s probably for the best. Here are the 3 facts to consider if you think someone is a bad friend.
Lack of Eye Contact
It says something about a person when they can’t look you in the eye. Having a bud that stares at you intensely is pretty creepy, but avoiding your gaze altogether is even worse: it’s a sign of lacking intimacy in the relationship.
Take a notice of how many times your friend checks Facebook updates and tweets while you’re in the middle of a conversation. Or maybe there are more subtle instances, like avoiding eye contact while they breathlessly monologue in what’s supposed to be a shared dialogue. Paying attention to body language will trigger that they are being rude and should probably do a little listening, so they avoid your gaze out of selfishness.
An amigo who doesn’t value you enough to pay the slightest subconscious attention to your needs of communication isn’t a real friend to you.
Self-Centered Interaction
The strength of friendships is based on our interactions with one another. It’s about what you enjoy about them, and what they enjoy about you. That’s why you can spend hours with your closest friends while literally doing nothing; you’ve built companionship that doesn’t require more than the other’s best interest.
Bad friends couldn’t care less about your well-being or interest, and this shows in the context of your interactions. They’ll hang out when it’s convenient for them or generally ask surface level questions, if they ask any at all. Getting to know you isn’t important—they just ind you a convenience for the moment.
Remember, a good friend will let you rant on a bad day, and an even better friend will tell you when to let something go without dismissing your feelings for the sake of their own good mood.
Seeking Validation
There is a 50/50 chance about how the last major sign will show up in a weak friendship. It’s a mystery as to why it doesn’t scream in the moment that this relationship might be toxic, but the fact is, those who are poor at maintaining friendships often know it. One of the few times they will look at us in the eye is when they admit “I’m a bad friend.”
It’s not a statement that comes up once or twice when they admit to messing up. Toxic friends will keep telling you this just to hear you validate their behavior. We’ve all been guilty of doing it, so that the cycle continues on.
The other 50 percent might be so diluted by their selfishness, that they feel it’s OK to take you for granted. In either circumstance, the best way to be a real friend to a faux one is to tell them—in a loving way—that they suck.
Telling them that their behavior is OK isn’t going to help them or you; it will only make things worse. We will say something when friendships really matter to us, unless we are just as bad as they are. That’s the double-edged sword to this revelation. Recognizing these traits in others might be hard to admit, but it’s even harder to acknowledge that we might be the bad friend who needs to change.
-
《只有一个地球》读后感600字 读后感
《只有一个地球》读后感600字_读后感读完一本书以后,相信大家都积累了属于自己的读书感悟,是时候抽出时间写写读后感了。到底应如何写读后感呢?下面是小编整理的《只有一个地球》读后感600字_读后感,仅供参考,希望能够帮助到大家。《只有一个地球》读后感600字_读后...
-
个人教学业务工作总结
个人教学业务工作总结总结就是把一个时段的学习、工作或其完成情况进行一次全面系统的总结,它能使我们及时找出错误并改正,是时候写一份总结了。总结怎么写才能发挥它的作用呢?以下是小编精心整理的个人教学业务工作总结,供大家参考借鉴,希望可以帮助到有需要的朋友...
-
开学典礼老师讲话稿(通用19篇)
在学习、工作生活中,很多情况下我们需要用到讲话稿,讲话稿是应用写作研究的重要文体之一。相信很多朋友都对写讲话稿感到非常苦恼吧,下面是小编精心整理的开学典礼老师讲话稿,欢迎阅读,希望大家能够喜欢。开学典礼老师讲话稿篇1同学们,老师们:大家好。很高兴能够和大...
-
《麦肯锡方法》优秀读后感(精选7篇)
当赏读完一本名著后,相信大家都有很多值得分享的东西,何不静下心来写写读后感呢?那么我们该怎么去写读后感呢?下面是小编帮大家整理的《麦肯锡方法》优秀读后感,希望对大家有所帮助。《麦肯锡方法》优秀读后感篇1最近,因为工作不是很忙,抽空读了一遍《麦肯锡方法》。...